Who Am I Beneath the Masks?
Who Am I Beneath the Masks?
Lately I’ve Been Thinking About Masks.
Not the kind we wear on our faces.
The ones we wear in our lives, in our relationships, and in public.
The ones we wear at work, church, and even online.
The ones we wear because somewhere along the way we learned that certain versions of ourselves were more acceptable than others.
We Learn to Put on the Masks Early.
Many of us begin wearing masks as children.
Not necessarily because we’re trying to deceive anyone.
It is likely because we’re trying to belong.
We’re trying to stay safe.
We’re trying to receive love.
We’re trying to avoid rejection.
So we learn.
We learn who people want us to be.
And then we become that version.
The good girl, or the good boy.
The responsible one.
The helper.
The peacekeeper.
The achiever.
The one who doesn’t ask for too much.
The one who keeps everything together.
The masks often begin as survival.
The Mask Becomes the Identity
The longer we wear a mask, the easier it becomes to forget it isn’t who we really are.
We become so accustomed to performing a role that eventually we stop asking:
Is this actually me?
Or is this who I learned to be?
Sometimes we act differently around different people.
Different groups.
Different relationships.
Different environments.
While some variation is natural, eventually we may realize we have become disconnected from our authentic self.
Even Spiritual Masks Exist
One realization I’ve had recently is that even in spaces where I’ve felt safe, I’ve still worn masks.
Even here.
Even in my writing.
Even in moments where I thought I was being honest.
There were still parts of myself I was holding back.
Parts I thought were too messy.
Too unconventional.
Too much.
Too vulnerable.
Too different.
So I began wondering:
What would happen if I stopped hiding?
What If We Took Off the Masks?
What if we stopped trying to be who everyone expects us to be?
What if we stopped managing perceptions?
What if we stopped performing?
What if we trusted that the people meant for us would connect with the real us?
Not the polished version.
Not the edited version.
Not the professional version.
The actual version.
The human version.
The version God created.
The Fear of Being Seen
I think one reason masks are so difficult to remove is because they create a sense of safety.
If people reject the mask, it doesn’t hurt as much… because they never truly saw us.
When we allow ourselves to be seen more fully, there is risk.
People may misunderstand us.
Disagree with us.
Judge us.
Leave.
But they may also finally know us.
Perhaps that is what many of us are truly longing for.
Not approval.
Connection.
Who Are You Beneath the Masks?
That question has been sitting with me lately.
Who am I beneath the expectations?
Beneath the roles?
Beneath the labels?
Beneath the identities I have carried for years?
Perhaps the deeper question is:
Who does God say I am?
Because before the masks…
Before the roles…
Before the performance…
There was already a beloved child of God.
Whole.
Worthy.
Loved.
Created on purpose.
Questions to Reflect On
What masks am I still wearing?
Which ones once protected me but no longer serve me?
Where do I feel most like my authentic self?
Who would I be if I no longer needed to perform for acceptance?
Final Thoughts
Maybe healing is not becoming someone new.
Maybe healing is remembering who you were before you learned you had to wear masks.
Maybe it is returning to the truth.
Returning to yourself.
Returning to God.
And perhaps beneath every mask we’ve ever worn is the person we’ve been searching for all along.
Until next time, please know that you are treasured.
~ Natalie
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